Dealing with doubt

dealing with doubt

When I first started doubting my major

I remember the first time I experienced that hint of doubt that would continue to affect me (whether or not I chose to acknowledge it) to this day. At first, I thought I was just overthinking, as usual, but then I felt that way again later on.

It was my sophomore year in college and I was sitting in my second required accounting class for the year. I arrived a few minutes before class started and if you’re an introvert like me, you know that means my mind had time to wander. I thought about how much I wanted to skip that class because it was a huge lecture hall with over 300 students and I never paid attention anyway. Then it happened.

I thought to myself: can I really see myself dealing with bank reconciliation statements or balance sheets or auditing or tax documents or anything of that nature? Do I really want to sit at a desk all day from 9:00am – 5:00pm for the rest of my life? NO.

I even thought about changing my major before taking my upper-level accounting classes but I didn’t because I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to change it to. Truth be told, I have a 4.0 GPA. I’m actually doing really well in school so this surprises everyone that knows. Not to brag but I usually do well at anything I put my mind to. That’s why I know when I figure out what I want to do, excelling will be an understatement.

Two years ago I ignored the way I felt because I didn’t want to feel like a lost cause. I thought my doubt wasn’t strong enough because I had no real experience to compare it to. I thought if I just waited to learn more about the industry I would find my niche in accounting and end up loving it. Boy, was I wrong!

This is fine meme

Source: WeKnowMemes

Two years later I choose to acknowledge the way I feel and be more mindful of what I like and don’t like. I’m learning to trust my intuition more and try to learn from everything I do, versus act like the world is on fire around me because of my uncertainty.  I’m actually calmer now because of the healthy mindset I’ve developed. The one person I told about my uncertainty (after much interrogation about my future) acted like the world was going to end and basically told me to get my life together. I couldn’t help but think that it was none of their business, though. I choose to be optimistic about my future.

 

Here’s what I decided to do:
  • I’ll take my required courses to graduate but I’m very flexible with my electives and extracurricular experiences. I choose to utilize my resources as a student to attend leadership conferences and school events that interest me (since there’s either a discount or it’s free)
  • I’ll try to meet as many people as I can at those events on campus to learn from their experiences or learn something specific from them, depending on who it is.
  • I’ll also use the many resources available to me on campus such as private workspaces to work on my blog and other tasks
  • Next semester I plan on taking advantage of the multimedia equipment for rent to explore other creative avenues.

I would strongly advise you to do this regardless of if you’re in a similar position or not. Depending on the school you go to, you may have access to even more resources. The main idea here is that even if you’re in a position you don’t like, you should still try to find some good in it unless you plan on changing it.

 

UPDATE: 1/1/2019

How I changed my approach:

I decided to practice a little more of what I’ve been preaching in my personal growth posts.

I also have an update on how I decided to look at this situation moving forward. So here’s what I realized:

Whether or not I want to be an accountant full-time, accounting itself is still a very valuable skill to have.

Since I decided to take my blog seriously, I realized that I would have to file taxes on my blog earnings this year. Coincidentally, I’m taking a tax class next semester!

It’s funny how things work out. At first, I was dreading my major but now I understand how important it is to my blog and the businesses I plan to start in the future.

 

If you’re in a similar situation, consider the following:

Is what you’re learning a complete waste of time or can it be beneficial?

I’m glad I saw the brighter side of everything I’ve been learning and I’m actually looking forward to learning more about accounting next semester!

 

Until next time love,

sensi signature

Sensi

Sensi is the founder of The Metamorphosis, a lifestyle blog about the journey of college to adulting. Here you can find the tips for college, self-improvement, adulting, and more. Other than blogging, she loves spending time with her twin sisters, she loves traveling, and eating!

Find me on: Web | Twitter | Instagram

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

2 Comments

  1. Megan
    February 6, 2019 / 1:26 am

    The power of positive thinking is amazing. You chose to make the most out of your situation and grow in the process. Very insightful piece. Thanks for sharing!

    xoxo
    Meg

    • Sensi
      Author
      February 8, 2019 / 1:03 am

      Thank you so much, Megan! 🙂