Dealing with doubt


I remember the first time I experienced that hint of doubt that would continue to affect me (whether or not I chose to acknowledge it) to this day. At first, I thought I was just overthinking, as usual, but then I felt that way again later on, and even made a blog post about it.

It was my sophomore year in college and I was sitting in my second required accounting class for the year. I arrived a few minutes before class started and if you’re an introvert like me, you know that means my mind had time to wander. I thought about how much I wanted to skip that class because it was a huge lecture hall with over 300 students and I never paid attention anyway. Then it happened.

I thought to myself: can I really see myself dealing with bank reconciliation statements or balance sheets or auditing or tax documents or anything of that nature? Do I really want to sit at a desk all day from 9:00am – 5:00pm for the rest of my life? NO.

I even thought about changing my major before taking my upper-level accounting classes but I didn’t because I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to change it to. Truth be told, I have a 4.0 GPA. I’m actually doing really well in school so this surprises everyone that knows. Not to brag but I usually do well at anything I put my mind to. That’s why I know when I figure out what I want to do, excelling will be an understatement.

Two years ago I ignored the way I felt because I didn’t want to feel like a lost cause. I thought my doubt wasn’t strong enough because I had no real experience to compare it to. I thought if I just waited to learn more about the industry I would find my niche in accounting and end up loving it. Boy, was I wrong!

Photo: KC Green

Two years later I choose to acknowledge the way I feel and be more mindful of what I like and don’t like. I’m learning to trust my intuition more and try to learn from everything I do, versus act like the world is on fire around me because of my uncertainty.  I’m actually calmer now because of the healthy mindset I’ve developed. The one person I told about my uncertainty (after much interrogation about my future) acted like the world was going to end and basically told me to get my life together. I couldn’t help but think that it was none of their business, though. I choose to be optimistic about my future.

Here’s a bit of insight on how I’m dealing with pursuing a degree in a field I no longer care for:

  • I take my required courses to graduate but I’m very flexible with my electives and extracurricular experiences. I choose to utilize my resources as a student to attend leadership conferences and school events that interest me (since there’s either a discount or it’s free)
  • I try to meet as many people as I can at those events on campus to learn from their experiences or learn something specific from them, depending on who it is.
  • I also use the many resources available to me on campus such as private workspaces to work on my blog and other tasks
  • Next semester I plan on taking advantage of the multimedia equipment for rent to explore other creative avenues.

I would strongly advise you to do this regardless of if you’re in a similar position or not. Depending on the school you go to, you may have access to even more resources. The main idea here is that even if you’re in a position you don’t like, you should still try to find some good in it unless you plan on changing it.


What are some of your experiences with doubt?


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