Happiness

I just felt a feeling of genuine happiness while writing my last post. It was in the midst of the conversation with my best friend about him loving himself, embracing life and looking forward to the future.

The reason I felt happy was because I realized something I discovered this time last year when I was happy. I told myself that no matter what life threw at me I would handle it head on and conquer it and move on with my life. I think I even explicitly stated that in one of my previous posts. And I still hold this belief to this day.

The mistake I’ve been making all along is attributing my happiness to progress in my professional life and even tangible things. I made the grave mistake of thinking that just because I didn’t set goals and had nothing to measure that my life had no meaning – that this whole semester was a waste because I didn’t accomplish any goals since I didn’t set any. But that’s not true.

In reality, I’ve grown so much this semester. I’ve learned a lot about myself and I’ve met new people who changed me. They encouraged me to be more caring and vocal about the way I feel. Wow.. I almost let all of that go unnoticed. The little things count, and I made the mistake of not counting them. As a very passive person, I would always not say what was on my mind but I’ve done so much of that this semester with my roommates. While talking to my mentor on the phone once I even fought that and expressed exactly how I felt about the situation; something I had never done in my life. I usually always just end things as is and then lose sleep over what I should’ve said or done. But for the first time, I didn’t do that.

Ironically enough, I did say in my previous posts that this semester would be about relationships with people and it was. Initially, my idea of that was going out with my friends a lot and having fun but I’ve explored that in a deeper way, and I’m so thankful for it.

I’m so happy I finally took the time to blog about this now and not postpone it as usual. Interestingly enough, as much as I think a lot and make most of my groundbreaking realizations in my head, writing this out has really helped me tonight.

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